Campaigning is having a vulnerability hangover every single day

I connected with three of my best campaign friends through a non-profit group called Raise Your Hand Utah and we have a Marco Polo group that we send videos to each other daily. Two of us are running for State School Board positions and the other two are running for local school boards. S.R. has campaigned before, but the rest of us are first time campaigners and it is a sharp learning curve. I jokingly tell people that the learning curve feels inverted and you keep falling backward and then getting back on. 

A couple of days ago, one of my friends sent a Marco Polo sharing some of the comments she has been receiving in response to her sending voicemails and text message out. One response said, "Go f*** yourself and STOP" and my dear friend she has hundreds of these kind of responses. What? How. 

I remember the first time I got a response like that, but also, I've never been told to go f*** myself, so I guess mine are way more chill. I have been using a google number (thank heaven), but these were some of my noteworthy responses after sending a voicemail that introduced myself (the phone doesn't even ring - it goes straight to voicemail so you can listen and hear my voice):

Well in the first place if you cannot respect that I am on the Do Not Call list, then you sure as hell ain't going to get a vote from me. So be more respectful individually and maybe people will give you a chance. Because someone who can't respect something that simple won't respect anything."

My phone number is not public information. If you call me again, I'll see you in court.

Stop. 

Stop. 

No one gets the chance to get better? You suck as a human. Your not going to bully us Sarah. You are incorrect. I'm his mom girl and you're barking up the wrong tree. Prayers for the fact you didn't harrass me tonight. God bless.

Please remove me from this list. 

I received these messages while I was teaching. I'm just a regular human living my life, and when I filed to declare candidacy, I didn't know that people would come out of the woodwork to verbally attack me just because I sent a voicemail or text message. That would never cross my mind if someone sent me candidate info. In the past I might have ignored them, but I would never be mean or rude. 

And then this morning I checked my work email and saw an email from a woman who attended my debate (and came up after and told me that she could see my compassion and how much I loved teaching), and said that after watching my debate, "it was clear there are many disclosures about students that are in violation of Granite Schools district policy and FERPA as well as Utah Law. It is concerning that Audryn doesn't know or understand these disclosures are illegal and unethical. She gave away a lot of personal details about individual students that was alarming."

My breath caught in my chest and my heart started beating faster. Did I break FERPA? I'm a special education teacher and maintaining confidentiality is important to me. Did this woman send this email to other people? Are they going after my character? So many questions reeled in. I immediately reached out to my education lawyer friend (who was at my debate!) to double check that I didn't break any FERPA rules because if I did, I would want to rectify what I could and learn from the experience. 

Vulnerability. Hangover. In the words of my friend, lots of "energy bucks" were spent today working through this issue and it's still not resolved. I'm exhausted of being "on" so much, sharing so much of myself, and constantly being on the defense. 

Prepare yourself if you choose to be a candidate and join the campaign arena: You will be on display and the world will look at you from all angles. Surround yourself with people who champion you, and stay within integrity for yourself. If you maintain your values along the way, you will make it through, but it's definitely an arena, and it feels more Hunger Games-ish than fun Olympics.